Beating Bitterness

For the week of December 22, 2018 / 14 Tevet 5779

Scuffed up baseball

Va-Yehi
Torah: Bereshit/Genesis 47:28 – 50:26
Haftarah: 1 Melachim/1 Kings 2:1-12
Originally posted January 3, 2015 / 12 Tevet 5775

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But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. (Bereshit/Genesis 50:19-21)

Joseph was the object of his own brothers’ extreme jealousy, resulting in their selling him to slave traders and tricking their father into thinking he was killed by wild animals. While God gave him favor in the sight of his Egyptian master, his plight went from bad to worse. Even though he stayed true to God by resisting the advances of his master’s wife, she falsely accused him of abusing her, resulting in his spending years in a dungeon. Eventually his God-given gift of dream interpretation catapulted him to second in command in Egypt. While I think many, if not most of us, would have harbored bitterness in our hearts toward everyone who sought our harm, Joseph did not. Even when things work out well for people, good times don’t necessarily heal bitter hearts. Instead, bitterness has a way of skewing how we look at life – the good as well as the bad. The comfort that Joseph was able to experience is only possible for someone who refused to be bitter. We know this is the case with Joseph, because of how he dealt with his brothers later on, when they came to Egypt in the hope of buying food during the famine.

Joseph’s life vividly reminds us of how important it is to avoid bitterness. I have seen how destructive bitterness can be, including the control it has over people who allow it to grow inside them. Bitterness can lead to compulsive obsessive anger as well as to personal isolation. If Joseph had handled life differently, God would have used other means to preserve Israel in order to accomplish his purposes through them, but Joseph may not have been part of it.

I want to be like Joseph, but I haven’t been able to figure out how he did it. The ultimate answer is God’s “hesed,” his steadfast love. But that doesn’t mean that Joseph was carried along by God unconsciously. His relationship with God expressed itself in very specific ways. We have glimpses of his behavior, but that hasn’t been sufficient to enable me to understand what was really going on in his heart. But I have just read a book that may shed some light on this issue.

You may be surprised to learn that the book is called The Soul of Baseball: A Road Trip Through Buck O’Neil’s America by Joe Posnanski. O’Neil was a most unusual man. He died in 2006 at the age of 94. He was a baseball player, manager, coach, and scout. He was also an African American whose career as a player occurred before Blacks were allowed to play in the Major Leagues. Due to the racial discrimination of those days, special “Negro Leagues” were created so people like O’Neil could play “The National Pastime,” as Baseball was called in the United States. Following retirement O’Neil became an ambassador for the Negro Leagues to ensure their place in history and to help raise out of obscurity some of the greatest ball players of all time.

Buck O'NeilIt is difficult for many of us to fully understand the injustices Buck O’Neil endured and witnessed. And yet, like Joseph, he didn’t allow bitterness to take hold. As I was completing the book, what helped him be that way became clear to me. It may have been the same thing that helped Joseph as well. First, Buck O’Neil didn’t let others define life for him. He would never accept how others justified their bitterness. More importantly, he didn’t let his own circumstances define his life. Instead of wallowing in disappointment and hurt, he determined that he would focus on the positive and seek to be a blessing. Even in the face of great difficulty, he decided that life was a good thing and should always be cherished as such. More than that, he purposely helped others to do the same. He wasn’t always successful, but often was. I can’t say for sure what made him this way, except that he recognized how destructive bitterness was and made a concerted effort to avoid it at all costs.

Buck O’Neil’s life helps me to see Joseph more clearly, who also rose above his circumstances, not allowing them to define his life. While not denying the ill intent of his brothers and others, he really believed that God retained ultimate control of his life.

Buck O’Neil puts me to shame as does Joseph. But I will continue to pray that God helps me to look at life with their perspective, because while I might feel the pull of bitterness at times, their example is the right one; one most worthy to follow.

Scriptures taken from the English Standard Version

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