Originally posted August 11 & 18, 2007
Last updated September 3, 2014
© 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2013, 2014 Alan Gilman
Redeemed!
Reflections on a personal story
by Alan Gilman
Some time ago I had the opportunity to share some of the details of
my spiritual journey with someone. Through the past thirty years of my
knowing God through Yeshua (Jesus) the Messiah, I have explained to many
people how I have come to believe. When I have shared my story, people
often respond with all sorts of questions, some of which I have heard
many times: How did your family react?; How did this change your life?;
What does this mean to you as a Jewish person?; and so on. But there was
one question I was asked on this particular occasion that I don't think
I have been asked before. The question was in response to my explaining
the difference my faith in Yeshua has meant to me. But before I get to
that question, let me provide some background. As a child and teenager,
I suffered from a great deal of anxiety and depression. I had an
emotional breakdown at age 11 and panic attacks along with a great fear
of death at age 18. As far as I know, the chief contributing factor was
my unstable upbringing. There was a lot of discord and strife in our
home. My parents argued (loudly) quite a bit. They separated when I was
8 years old, reconciled a year later only to split up permanently when I
was 14. I lived with my mother until I went away to school at age 20, my
three older brothers having moved away. I saw my father rarely through
the years.
Just before my nineteenth birthday, I met a young Jewish man - a
friend of a friend - who demonstrated from the Jewish Bible (the Old
Testament) that Yeshua was the Messiah (for a list of Old Testament
prophecies fulfilled by Yeshua, see www.alangilman.ca/content/messianicprophecies.html).
He also explained to me the biblical concepts of sin and forgiveness. He
said that if I asked God to forgive me and believed that Yeshua died for
my sins and rose from the dead, I would be "happy for the rest of
my life and live forever in heaven." While there was so much of
what this young man said that was true, even though he himself was
fairly new to these things, I would eventually learn that his promise of
constant happiness was inaccurate. It was inaccurate, but not entirely
untrue. It depends how one defines happiness. If it means a life
completely devoid of grief, struggles and disappointments, then he was
wrong. But if it means a basic sense of wellbeing in the midst of the
ups and downs of real life, then he was absolutely correct.
As my story goes, the panic attacks stopped immediately and for the
most part of the next several months I was on an emotional high of a
nature that I had never experienced up until that point in my life. That
high didn't continue, which at first was somewhat of a crisis, but it
would not be long before I would come to understand the depth of what
God had done in my heart and life. While my assumptions regarding being
happy forever (or at least in this life) would not be realized, the
change that God brought about in me has been no less profound. Coming to
believe in Yeshua has completely changed me. From my emotional state to
my outlook on life to my sense of worth to my values and goals, I have
been transformed. While I may still struggle to some extent with the
scars of my first nineteen years of life, I have experienced a most
wonderful transformation through my encounter with the reality of the
God of Israel through the Messiah.
Now back to the question I mentioned at the beginning. It was in
response to my explaining my transformation that I was asked the
following basic, but unusual, question: How did it work? The person
wanted to know what it was exactly that affected the change in me. To be
honest, at the time of the question, I groped for an answer. That I had
truly experienced the transforming power of God was clear to me, but as
to exactly what it was that God did to me to cause that change, I
couldn't sufficiently express at the time. I know that it was God in
Yeshua who brought about the change, but that explains who changed me,
not what he did to change me. As I tried to answer the question, the
other person determined it had to do with my coming to an understanding
of the meaning of life. If I understood them correctly, they surmised
that it was my acceptance of Truth that gave me a sense of peace.
Getting a handle on what life was really all about gave me stability of
mind and heart that up until then was beyond my grasp.
I think there is much truth in what they said, but that too, doesn't
really answer the question, "How does it work?" I accept that
my changed viewpoint has had a great positive effect on me. But is that
what made the difference? And even if it did, how did my viewpoint
change? Was it my willingness to adopt a new way of thinking that
transformed me? I don't think so. Is there even an adequate answer to
this question? It wouldn't bother me if there wasn't. That God's reality
is at work in my life is good enough for me. Yet I do think there is
much more that can be said about how the transforming power of God
works.
The most obvious aspect of my transformation was psychological. I had
been struggling emotionally to the point of having panic attacks, which
stopped immediately. My outlook on life did radically change. I had been
a very self-centered person, and while I do not claim to have attained
selflessness, my world was no longer just about me anymore. Similarly,
issues of morality had meant little to me, but once the Messiah came
into my life, I began to develop a strong sense of right and wrong. Life
in general had had no meaning. I was always bored except for brief
moments of distraction, but in the Messiah, God gave me purpose. Up
until coming to know Yeshua and my embracing of the Scriptures as the
Word of God, my being Jewish was without relevance. My Jewish identity
was important to me, but without substance. Once I came to know the
reality of the God of Israel, I began to see myself as part of his
eternal plan that was intimately rooted in my forefathers, Abraham,
Isaac, and Jacob.
But none of this explains exactly what it was that God did to me that
day. The best way to explain it is through the biblical concept of
redemption. In the Scriptures redemption refers to the act of buying
back a person sold into slavery or the restoration of property that has
been lost due to extreme poverty. According to the Torah (the five books
of Moses), when this occurred, it was the obligation of a near relative
to redeem or, in other words, to buy back the person or property (see
Vayikra / Leviticus 25 & 27 and Bemidbar / Numbers 35).
Redemption as an act of God on behalf of his people is a reoccurring
theme in the Bible. Jacob refers to God's redemption in his own life (Bereshit
/ Genesis 48:16). The deliverance of Israel from slavery in Egypt is
called an act of redemption (Shemot / Exodus 6:6; 15:13). Hoping in God
as the Redeemer of Israel is found several times in the prophets (Isaiah
41:14; 43:1; 43:14; 52:3; Jeremiah 50:34; Micah 4:10; etc.). The Book of
Ruth is a beautiful story of redemption.
In the Psalms we have references to God as redeemer of both Israel as
a nation (Psalms 74:2; 77:15; 78:35. etc.) and for individuals (Psalms
19:14; 69:18; 103:4, etc.).
Redemption is the act of rescuing a person or persons from a most
dire situation and restoring them to a place of freedom. It brings about
a complete transformation of the life situation of the person redeemed.
This is what happened to me: God redeemed me.
I had been in an oppressive state, which included several components.
The most basic component was the spiritual one in that I had been
alienated from God. But it also it included a relational component in
that my home life was extremely dysfunctional and my friendships were
based on selfishness. It had an economic component as well as the only
parent in my life was no longer able to provide for our needs. It had an
intellectual component in that I had no direction for my education. I
also had a sub-standard work ethic, since I thought life was simply
about comfort and pleasure.
When I encountered God that day, he redeemed me. By Yeshua's giving
his life as the ransom for my sins, God rescued me from my oppression,
set me in right relationship with himself and began to direct me in the
quality of life he intends for us all.
It was his redemption that significantly alleviated my extreme
anxiety. It was not that my perspective on life resulted in a
psychological adjustment. Rather I experienced a psychological
adjustment due to God's transforming power.
I remember crossing a particular street not long after asking Yeshua
into my life and remarking to myself that everything looked different.
While my physical surroundings hadn't really changed, it was as if the
realm in which I found myself had. The fact is I was living in a
different realm. This is expressed so well in these words from the New
Covenant (Testament) writings:
For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought
us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption,
the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 1:13-14).
What our people experienced through God's redemption in Egypt
anticipated an even greater redemption through the Messiah. Moreover,
what is available to us today through him is a taste of what he still
desires for us as a nation. It is something that is available to all
people through trusting in Yeshua. It is not just a new frame of mind or
a deeper commitment to a religious lifestyle, but a real transforming
encounter with the God of Israel.
Comments?
E-mail: comments@torahbytes.org
Subscribe?
To have TorahBytes e-mailed to
you weekly, enter your e-mail address and press Subscribe
[ Alan
Gilman - Bible Teacher ]
[
More TorahBytes ] [ TorahBytes
Home ] |